The Final Round of My First Book Tour

My two-month book tour ended Mar 31. I came home, crashed for a couple of days and got some rest and relaxation. I was thankful for the opportunities to be so involved in Black History and Women’s History Month programs

My induction into the Enterprising Women Magazine Hall of Fame on Mar 18 was in the beautiful, relaxing environment of the Doral Spa Resort, Miami, FL. Entrepreneurs as well as corporate & non-profit executives shared experiences. It offered great networking. The beautiful plague presented to me now graces the wall at my home.

I was honored to have been invited to be the keynote speaker for The Women’s History Month luncheon of the National Association of Negro Business & Professional Women on Mar 20 in Petersburg, VA. The invitation was extended by the young woman who was my first administrative assistant at my company in the late 70’s. We connected a couple years ago after about 20 years.

Because I was in Miami March 17-19 and a commitment for a speaking engagement on March 20, I was unable to fully participate in the Virginia Festival of the Book held March 17-21 in Charlottesville, VA. I did attend a luncheon and book signing hosted by The Links of Charlottesville and a book signing at Barnes & Noble on Mar. 21.

March 25-28 found me in the Washington, DC area. Bowie State University, Bowie, MD, hosted its second annual tea & book discussion. It was a delightful event in a beautiful setting decorated with flowers, streamers, and balloons and offered a wide selection of teas, tasty scones and tea sandwiches. The interview with me was conducted by a journalism student. A highlight of the day was being surprised by five former employees who live in the area. Earlier in the day I had a glorious experience – conducting a class in leadership for upperclassmen. It reminded me of my teaching days at Bowie and it felt good!

The Dingman Center for Entrepreneurship at University of Maryland, College Park, MD was my host on Mar 26 for a discussion with students, faculty and staff.

Sunday, Mar 28 found me at the Oxon Hill Library, Oxon Hill, MD as the keynote speaker for the Women’s History Month program sponsored by Association for the Study of African American Life and History and Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority. Having lived in Prince George’s County, MD for about 30 years, I was grateful to be able to reconnect with many people I knew from my days of living there.

The evening of Mar. 30, East Orange City Hall, East Orange, NJ was a booming success even with the torrential rainfall. My brother lives in East Orange and a friend of his hosted me as the keynote speaker for its Women History Month Program. Many relatives and even people I went to school with in Powhatan, VA attended.

My last stop of the month, Mar 31, was in Stamford, CT for the Women’s History Month program for UBS Financial Services. I was invited by a woman I had met at another speaking engagement a few months earlier. It’s a great feeling to be referred as a speaker. This event was limited to employees, many whom had already read my book. A real plus was the company had purchased books for each person in attendance. We had a wonderful discussion.

A Whirlwind Week

It has been a whirlwind of a week since my last posting.

After three relaxing days in Sarasota where I had a change to have lunch with same friends and get in a round of golf, it was off to Boston. I was saddened to leave the warm, sunny weather to head to the frigid cold of Boston. I, however, was greeted with a pleasant surprise; my heavy winter coat was too much! Though there were some rain showers the day I arrived, the temperature was pleasant. I checked into the relatively new Westin Waterfront with all of its trappings of comfort.

The four-day experience gave me the opportunity to share with the academic and non-profit communities - Babson College, Harvard Business School and Strong Women, Strong Girls; a non-profit organization that uses lessons from contemporary and historic women to help young girls and women become strong women themselves.

First stop: Babson College where I was interviewed by Dr. Myra Hart, retired professor from Harvard business School, as the first author in their Author Series program for Women’s History Month. Ironically, Myra was the professor who presented my Alumni Achievement Award from Harvard to me in 2003 and with whom I had worked on the board of the National Association of Women Business Owners Foundation. It was an interactive exchange between students, faculty, staff and friends from the Babson community. The students were so impressive.

The Strong Women, Strong Girls event was hosted by one of their sponsors, Naxitis, at their attractive facility in downtown Boston. I was welcomed with drinks and tasty hors d’oeuvres. Having a chance to mingle with the attendees before my presentation put me in a more relaxed state of mind. The more I heard from the people involved with this organization, the more impressed I became.

The H. Naylor Fitzhugh conference, sponsored by the African American Student Union at Harvard Business School, took me back to familiar territory. Although the conference was at the Westin Hotel, seeing so many students, alumni and prospective students was reminiscent of my days at HBS. Adding to the joy of the weekend was the fact that both of my daughters came from NY to attend the conference. It was a glorious weekend.

Traveling around and meeting so many people is exhilarating. I have been exposed to individuals and organization that are doing amazing things. I will explore some of these for possible involvement after my book tour slows down.

I look forward to the next leg of my journey which takes me to Richmond, VA, then Miami, FL for the Enterprising Women conference where I will be inducted into their Hall of Fame.

Time to Catch Up

It’s been two weeks since I wrote my last blog. So much has happened since then. It seems that every place where I had a book event, I either was a day ahead or a day behind the snow storm. Only one event was cancelled, Mary Baldwin College, Staunton, VA, and plans are underway to reschedule.

After a successful book signing at Barnes & Noble, Libbie Ave, Richmond, VA, on Feb 13, I headed to New York City for a signing at Hue-Man Book store on Feb 16. It was snowing when we landed at LaGuardia and snowed all day, stopping just before the scheduled signing at 6 PM. Despite the snow a good crowd showed up and about half of them purchased books, a good percentage. The next night, Feb 17, I was one of three participants on a panel discussion at Harvard Club of New York, The other panelists were Ilene Lane, President & CEO, Catalyst and Selena Cuffe, President & CEO, Heritage Link Brands, a company that imports wines from South Africa. This was interesting and offered great networking opportunities.

An early flight back to Richmond, VA on Feb 18 was necessary in order to make the two-hour drive to Alexandria, VA for an event at Alexandria Black History Museum at 6 PM. In a wonderful, intimate setting with homemade goodies (made by my sister-in-law) we had a great evening surrounded by a few feet of piled up snow. The next night, Feb 19 took me to DC where I was honored with a reception in recognition of my induction into Enterprising Women Hall of Fame on March 18 in Miami. My good friend and golfing buddy, Susan Peterson, President & CEO, The Communication Center hosted the reception. Saturday, Feb 20 took me to Politics & Prose, a great independent bookstore on Connecticut Ave, DC where I had a book signing. Thankfully , I sold lots of books and saw some people whom I had not seen for years.

Sunday, Feb 21, I enjoyed visiting Mt. Pero Baptist Church, the church where I grew up as a child. Though few of my contemporaries were there, it was good to see many of their family. That afternoon, I flew to Boston to speak at two schools – Belmont High School, Boston and Galvin Middle School, Wakefield. Got out of Boston a day before a predicted snow storm, headed for Sarasota, FL. On Wed. Feb 24, SisterSpace and University of FL, Gainesville hosted a signing in the newly constructed Alumni Center at U of FL, Gainesville. I had the opportunity to interact with some very intelligent, interesting students. With students such as those, our future is in good hands.

I closed out the week in Columbia, SC where I attended the South Carolina Book Festival. I was part of a three-person panel of authors who had all written memoirs. Each of us was quite different. Joining me on the panel was Jackie Cooper, a southern gentleman and Shelia Morris an acknowledged lesbian. This was a fantastic two days. I met so many authors, made some valuable contacts and sold some books. What more could I ask!

On Mar 4, I head to Boston for three days of events. Will report back later.

Good Experience

Good Experiences

As I travel on my book tour, I am meeting so many people of all races, nationalities and cultures. The experiences are enlightening for me. I have a renewed appreciation for humanity. People are genuinely, kind, thoughtful and willing to go the extra mile to help others.

I have received so many words of encouragement and support as well as comments from many people about how I have inspired them when I didn’t even know “anyone was watching”. When I am told that I was an encouragement for someone to return to school, that is particularly heartwarming. I place such a high premium on education: “There is no substitute for education and there are no shortcuts”.

This reinforces something taught to me as a child. Carry yourself in such a way that you will be proud for others to know of your deeds and words. You never know for whom you are setting an example.

Impact of the Snow

It’s a beautiful, sunny day as the sun bounces off the 15-18 inches of snow. I must admit that even I, a warm weather person, appreciate the beauty of the snow. I still can’t get out of my driveway and no generous soul has come by to clear it. A few years ago the teenager across the street was always on our front stoop offering to clear our driveway and walkway. But he is an adult now and does not need to or want to do it. Hopefully Mother Nature will be generous over the next few days and begin melting the snow. I have used the time wisely – decorating, cleaning, working on projects, etc. I have no urgent need to go out. The snow has also helped with my weight loss. Hubby & I were scheduled to attend two parties today and one tomorrow. Both cancelled. So I am banking calories for Christmas day.

I am anxious to see my 2 daughters and 2 grands who are scheduled to arrive Christmas Eve night and a childhood cousin (and best friend), scheduled to arrive that morning. Mother Nature, please be nice to us! Big family plans beginning with Lambert Family traditional Christmas brunch after which my household will have 12 people for dinner and 15 people for dinner on Sat. Sun. will be family visiting day when we go to the country where my cousin and I grew up to visit family still there. I am excited!

Snow! Snow! Snow!

Let it snow! No shopping to do will just stay in to decorate the tree and house and finish cards. Hubby & I completed all outside activities yesterday in anticipation of snow (much less I may add). Went to see Precious yesterday and when we came out of the theater there was at least an inch of snow. After snowing all night on our deck is at least 15-18 inches. Great acting in Precious but when I was growing up I didn't know any grandmothers that would have tolerated such treatment from her daughter or mistreatment of her granddaughter.

As we entered the house after the movie, the phone was ringing. It was a neighbor who told us they had planned a Christmas party, expecting about 30 people. Because of the storm most had cancelled so they asked us to come over to help eat all the food. It was great fun celebrating some holiday cheer with neighbors whom we only casually talk to when in the yard. About 12 people showed up. Interesting what can bring people together.

The Stay-At-Home Dad

I spend quite a bit of time on planes and waiting in airports so I have the opportunity to interact with a number of people. Those opportunities will increase over the next few months as I begin my book tour.

Recently on a flight from Atlanta to Richmond, I sat next to a lady who was traveling from Denver to Richmond because her job was transferring her. She initiated a conversation that became more interesting as we talked. She was traveling with her cat. I asked if it was just her and her cat and she informed me that she had a husband and two girls who would be joining her the following week. I sat thinking to myself. Since she is being transferred I assume her husband is either being transferred or will be looking for a job. I finally asked her “Is your husband being transferred or will he be looking for a job?” Her answer was priceless: “My husband has been a stay-at-home-dad for six years.” I was so impressed as I informed her that when my children were small that would have been taboo. She said that sometimes her husband does get the strange questions such as “When are you going to get a real job?” The response to that is he has a real job of taking care of his children and household. I would give him the title of Chief Household Officer (CHO) – a very important job which has been held by women for years.

She felt her husband had done a wonderful job over the years and she was very proud of him. It was a decision that they discussed in detail and arrived at based on what was best for the family. I would venture to say, however, that it takes a man who is very secure with himself to undertake that role. Though there has been progress, society has not fully embraced it. There are still those questions, both asked and unasked. It is my hope that more men will undertake that role when it is in the best interest of the family. Are that many more of you out there? I welcome comments.

An Inspiring Event

Yesterday I attended a holiday breakfast sponsored by the Manasota branch of the Association for the Study of African American Life and History (www.asalh.org). It was an inspiring event attended by approximately 250 people. This organization is credited with founding Black History Month.

In addition to seeing old friends and meeting new ones, a member gave an informative presentation on a project a committee had been working on for two years: a film depicting the experiences of African American veterans living in the Sarasota, FL area. Although it is common knowledge that discrimination existed even in the military, it was disheartening to hear the stories of men and women who were willing to give their lives for the protection of their country while facing such discrimination. We owe them gratitude than can never be paid.

I Continue to be Thankful

In my last posting I talked about being thankful and writing that article made me more aware of all the “small” things I may overlook as I busily go about my daily activities.

As I prepare to leave Sarasota, FL to return to VA for the holidays, I am trying to spend as much time as I can enjoying the weather, playing golf and spending time with friends before leaving. I am also getting in some work – finalizing plans for my book tour, compiling my database and trying to keep up with my social media. I am thankful to have those choices.

Over the weekend I spent some quality time with Cathy Hughes, founder of Radio One, and her sister Jackie Woods over coffee at Starbucks. Cathy wrote the foreword for my book and we discussed plans for promotion after the book is released in January. I got in a few rounds of golf with my husband (yes, we enjoy playing together), my cousin who lives in St. Petersburg, FL about 30 miles away, a friend from DC who is moving to FL and the ladies league at the club where I belong. I still have a couple of lunches with friends but not sure I can squeeze in any more golf.

Thankful

With Thanksgiving approaching, many people are running around preparing for the “big dinner” whether they are staying home or traveling. Even in this time of economic uncertainty, we all have many things for which to be thankful – if we only took time to think about it.

This resonated with me over the last week after comments made to me by two people. One person was a young lady I have mentored for a few years and the other was my sister-in-law. The young lady sent me an email listing the dates for each day for a week leading up to Thanksgiving Day with instructions to: “list under each day things for which you are thankful, even the small things". Any idea how long that list could be?

My sister-in-law was telling me about a night when she had trouble going to sleep. She would usually count sheep or get up and work on the computer or do some other activity to cause her to get sleepy. This particular night, she decided to count her blessings. After starting to do this she really could not go to sleep because she had difficulty completing the list. That reminded me of a song I used to hear as a child:

When I am worried and I can’t sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings….

What are you thankful today and every day?

Red Pump Nation Women's Expo

Who would think that a group of women dressed in high, medium or low-heel red pumps could have such an impact on each other? That is exactly what happened at the first annual conference of the Red Pump Nation held in Richmond, VA. This conference is the result of a vision by Rev. Tanya Jones to establish an organization of business and professional Christian women to inspire, motivate and empower women to pursue their destiny. The theme “The Time is Now” brought together enthusiastic women from a variety of backgrounds – from doctors to those who are unemployed. They rubbed shoulders together as they listened to speakers and discussed their uniqueness as women.

Speakers delivered empowering messages on such topics as: It’s Time to Tell Your Story - encouraging those who have the desire to put their stories into a book for either their own personal use or for the public; It’s Time to Start Your Business – for those who may have thought of starting a business but fearful of making that uncertain move; It’s Time to Keep Believing – for those who have had so many misfortunes that they want to give up on life; and It’s Time to Take Care of Yourself – impressing upon the women that though we are usually known as nurturers, it very important to take care of ourselves.

A highlight of the conference was the first Red Pump Award, a beautiful engraved, glass, high-heeled red pump. The recipient was an eighty-eight year old woman who in her late seventies started The Neighborhood Assistance Program. She saw a growing need in her community for families needing assistance with food service. The need was so great it expanded to include household items. To keep inventory available for the program, she travels around the city and approaches supermarkets and other outlets to get the items she needs to serve her community. In addition to this community project she still serves as musician for two church choirs in the area. What a magnificent spirit of giving this woman demonstrates. There is a lesson here for the young and old.

Say You're One of Them

Being selected for Oprah Winfrey’s Book Club is the dream of a lifetime for any author. Uwem Akpan, a Jesuit priest from Nigeria, realized that dream when his book of short stories, “Say You’re One of Them”, was selected for her Book Club. Though written as fiction, it reflects experiences that are real for many children in Africa.

Oprah adopted a new approach to the book club for this selection. In collaboration with CNN, represented by Anderson Cooper, the entire world was able to participate through a live webcast. The author appeared to discuss his stories and how he developed each of them. Participants were able to submit questions and some were chosen to appear on the telecast. In addition, Anderson Cooper showed films of the research done on trips made to various parts of Africa by him and other reporters. It was a touching experience to be a part of this webcast.

One of the things uppermost in the author’s mind was how normal it is for children in Africa to sniff glue. Many are given the glue by their parents. He made the comparison to the large number of children in America who also sniff glue. The difference, he pointed out, is that the children in Africa do so to mask their hunger. If they are high they won’t realize that they are hungry. In America, young people sniff glue to get high, just for the pleasure.

A question he could not reconcile in his mind is why so many youngsters in America fail to capitalize on the many opportunities they have while those in Africa will go through unthinkable struggles to take advantage of the limited opportunities available to them.

For America, so much talent is being wasted as we continue to lose our position of strength around the world. How do we stop the bleeding?

Mentorship

As a young student at Howard University in the early 60”s, not sure of what I wanted to study, I was intrigued by the description of a course: Introduction to Business. I signed up. Little did I realize then but that one decision changed the course of my life. Not only did it help me decide my major field of study but it connected me with a very important person who became my mentor - the professor who taught the course.

I define a mentor as “someone who has checked out the minefield and can point out the mines before you step on them”. Mentor relationships can be formal or informal depending on the needs of the persons involved. In my case it was informal –no hard, fast rules. A true mentor helps in guiding your development, but not for personal gain. You can choose a mentor or someone may choose you (with your approval, of course) because they see a need that you may not recognize. In my case, the professor chose me though I’m not sure what he saw missing in my development. My guess is that he saw me as a “fish out of water” an older freshman student (22 versus 18) trying to find my way in an environment which was totally new to me. He helped guide me in the selection of my courses, hired me as his student assistant and influenced me to pursue my graduate study at none other than the Harvard Business School. During the course of a career, a person may have multiple mentors at different stages as the career develops and changes. As you experience changes and growth in your career don’t be reluctant to seek out a mentor if no one seeks you out. Most people are honored to be asked for guidance. If you do have a mentor, be sure you pass it forward by becoming one yourself.

Down Memory Lane

Descending on the sprawling campus of the Harvard Business School with its majestic setting, to attend my fortieth class reunion, I reminisced of my first venture on that hallowed campus – somewhat frightened, not sure what to expect and at the same time anxious to start a new chapter in my life. It is now Oct 2009 and I return with great confidence as I enter the relatively new Spangler auditorium to hear a lecture, “Who Killed Healthcare and the Current Public Policy Options” by HBS Professor. Regina E. Herzlinger.

What a difference from 1968, when sitting in the classroom, I sometimes trembled with fear at the prospect of being called on by the professor to start discussion of the assigned case study. No possibility of that happening today.

I must say I made the decision to attend the reunion with some trepidation. From the registration list I knew only two of the seventeen women from my class year were attending and none of the African American graduates. But I calmly told myself “You’ve been in that situation many times over the years”. Our host hotel the old-line Charles Hotel in Harvard Square was the location for receptions, class dinners and the gala. Over the year classmates had mellowed and egos had diminished.

On the day of departure, I ventured out of the hotel, a few blocks down the street to visit my living quarters in 1967-1969 – Radcliffe Graduate Dormitory, 6 Ash Street, Cambridge, MA. The three-story, brick rectangular building, about one-half mile from the business school, was home to graduate female students from the various Harvard schools. Women were not admitted to the business school until 1963 and by 1967 dorms were still not coed. How well do I remember those cold, cold walks across the bridge to class dressed in my business attire. It was with mixed feeling that I stood outside that building on this overcast, drizzling day and thought of those days forty years ago – some pleasant and some not-so-pleasant memories. Bearing in mind that this was a central part of my two-year experience at Harvard, my husband took a photo of me standing on the steps of the front entrance. Emotions of excitement, sadness and calm overcame me as I slowly walked back to the hotel to leave for my return home. Forty years, it was hard to believe!

Class Reunion

I leave on Oct 1 for Boston where I will attend the 40th class reunion of my graduation from Harvard Business School. Those years seemed to have gone by so fast. I attended the 35th and it was lots of fun. I'm looking forward to this one being as good or better. Will also be able to attend the board meeting of the Harvard Business School African American Alumni Association and a reception it will sponsor for those who have returned for the various reunion years. I'll report back next week.

Trying Something Different

It is so hard to get out of one's comfort zone. At the suggestion and insistence of a friend, I had a "Gold Party". What's a gold party? Friends are invited to your home where a dealer pays cash for unwanted or unused gold. My friends came with single earrings, mangled bracelets and necklaces and other gold pieces they no longer wanted or found useful. I served wine and cheese. The women came and went at will and from 3-6 PM we laughed, talked, drank wine and compared notes on our discovered treasures. It was great fun. I must admit, however, I was very reluctant to host the party but am glad I did.

Health Care

Whatever your feeling about the President or the government involvement or lack thereof in the final health care plan, it's hard to understand why so many people are opposed to health care reform. As a senior, it saddens me to see so many older people who cannot receive the type of care they need. Just as unfortunate, there are so many people, of all ages, who cannot afford the care they need. The status quo would be a mistake.

Congressman Wilson's remarks were disrespectful but apparently represented his true feelings. He clearly stated that he apologized because the republican leadership told him he should do so. He never stated he apologized because he thought it was the right thing to do. There is a difference.

The Hope Bus Tour

I am excited to be a participant in The Hope Bus Tour http://www.thehopebus.org/ to be launched on Sept 21 with a ribbon cutting ceremony in New York at the Ronald McDonald House. The brainchild of visionary Helena Nyman , the tour is designed to raise public awareness of charities that are doing exceptional work in their communities. After New York, the tour will travel to Boston visiting 50 charities in 50 days along East Coast, ending in Tampa. FL. I will participate as a speaker in New York, Boston, Richmond and possibly some of the Florida events.

New York Trip

There is no place hotter than NY with temps in the upper 90's. Nevertheless I had a great weekend with my daughters and grands. Taking my 3-year-old granddaughter to the movies and to tap dance class was a real treat. My oldest daughter did her first performance of her new dance company, Roots In Revolution http://www.rootsandrevolution.com/ at a dance studio in Manhattan. It was a great experience for her and 4 other relatively new companies. She did not dance but choreographed a selection she developed that was performed by 3 of her dancers. After the performance, the audience, most of whom were with dance companies or involved with dancing, were able to ask question and give feed back to all the choreographers. Even I learned a lot about dance.

Family Reunion

What a great weekend! Our family had its 22nd bi-annual family reunion Aug 7-9,2009. Originally this reunion was to have been a cruise but many had to cancel because of their financial situation. The committee regrouped and decided to return to our "roots" in Powhatan, VA. About 150 people attended, ages ranging from 2 months old to 80 something. On Friday evening for our family reflections I was asked to speak on "The Value of Family". On Saturday there was an all-day picnic with lots of food, swimming, board games , outdoor games and many opportunities to talk and meet new family members. The need to cancel the cruise may have been a "blessing in disguise". We focused on the purpose of our reunions and how to be sure we remember our roots.

If your family has reunions and you do not attend, you are missing a great experience!